You Might Be An Alaskan If...

Forget Rednecks, here is what Jeff Foxworthy should say about Alaskans:



If someone in a Home Depot store offers you assistance and they don't work there, you may live in Alaska.

If you've worn shorts and a parka at the same time, you may live in Alaska.

If you measure distance in hours, you may live in Alaska. (So true)

If you know several people who have hit a moose more than once, you may live in Alaska.

If you have switched from 'heat' to 'A/C' in the same day and back again, you may live in Alaska.

If you carry jumpers in your car and your wife knows how to use them, you may live in Alaska.

If you design your kid's Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit, you may live in Alaska. (Ha ha ha... every year)

If driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled with snow, you may live in Alaska.

If you know all 4 seasons: Summer, Almost Winter, Winter and Melt Down, you may live in Alaska.

If you have more miles on your snow machine than your car, you may live in Alaska.

If you find 10 degrees 'a little chilly', you may live in Alaska.

If you never heard the phrase, "Be home by dark", you may live in Alaska

Keep Calm On.....

Have you been seeing those "Keep Calm and(something)On"? Well, they have been popping up every where. And I have to say that at first they were cute, but have you all noticed that they are seriously taking a down hill turn. People are making/posting them like crazy and now they aren't even rhyming... some just flat out don't make sense. Here is the time line of cuteness with them.





Kind of cute right? I thought so too when I first saw them... but then things started to get a little off track.



Okay... doesn't really rhyme... but I get what they are going for. Now here is where things get weird.








But you know what I have to say about this.....

Dr. Who Fans

We are pretty big Dr. Who fans in our house so when we saw this... yea... it was pretty funny. But seriously if you haven't seen Dr. Who you need too :)

Arrested Development Paper Dolls

My day just got a little bit better. I stumbled across this, this morning, and all I can say is that THIS is awesome.

http://manmadediy.com/chris/posts/769-free-download-arrested-development-paper-dolls

They have Tobias, George Bluth Sr., and Lindsay. They are awesome. And coming from a family that LOOOOOVES "Arrested Development" this is just great.

Funny New Born

Sure hope that Curtis and I can't relate to this

The Onion - Parents Opting to School-Home

I don't know how many of you have heard of the website called The Onion, but if you haven't you need to. Their website is just a bunch of spoofed new articles that will split your sides :) Not only are they funny, but sometimes close to the truth.

My brother showed me this article posted the other day and I figured it needed to be shared.

Increasing Number of Parents Opting to Have Children School-Home

Enjoy

Funny Stick Figure

I'm so glad that this isn't how it really is, cause finding maternity clothes would be a pain!

Terrible Twos

Oh Lucy, Lucy, Lucy.... I remember those good ol' days when you used to simply sit and play with your plastic keys, look through your books, and keep your self entertained with your toes..... and then...... THE TERRIBLE TWOS HAPPENED! Whoever thinks that phase actually starts when they're two is wrong..... sooo soooo wrong. .

And to prove it, here is a list of things I have had to deal with in the last few days....
1. Stop throwing your food on the floor
2. NO! NO! Keep your hands out of the poopies!
3. Stop throwing pens in the toilet
4. Your fingers don't belong in your nose
5. Your fingers don't belong in my nose!
6. Please don't rub your tushy on the glass.
7. DON'T LICK THE OUTLET!
8. If you ever want a brother or sister please stop doing that
9. Don't use mommy's bra as a bag
10. Old diapers are not toys
11. Fruit does not belong in mommy's cleavage
12. again?????
and last but not least....
13. AHHHHHHHH WHERE IS YOUR FATHER!

Babies + Bears = Best Friends

Our Uncle dropped off a bear skin rug that he had made for our dad.... apparently Lucy likes it more than any of us. We have had to move it so she isn't always hugging, kissing, petting, and riding the thing.

Happy New Year

Figured that we all need to start the new year with a good laugh!

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

Curtis Rappleye - The Stud

Yep.... that is my husband... the apple of my eye. Its funny how I think Curtis would probably still dress like this to get a laugh out of me.... backward Donald Duck suspenders and all :)

p.s. Happy Calender Change Day Shauna!

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Breast Milk Ice Cream

Who doesn't love Ben & Jerry's ice cream? It always tastes amazing, has those cute funny little names, and made with all natural ingredients like soy, sugar, egg yolks, coconut oil, and breast milk. WHAT?! Breast milk!?!? Well, not yet, but that is what PETA is suggesting.

Apparently PETA (People for the Ethical Treating of Animals) sent a letter over to the company and founders Ben Cohen and Jerry Greenfield this week telling them cow's milk is hazardous and that milking cows is cruel. PETA is asking the ice cream company to begin using breast milk in its ingredient instead of cow's milk; claiming that it would reduce the suffering of cows and calves and give ice cream lovers a healthier product.

Okay, now for all of you right now reading this with your eyes the sizes of dinner plates, mouth open in shock... simply take deep breaths, think of a happy place, and have no worries, because Ben & Jerry are in no hurry to make this kind of moooooove. Apparently, they don't like the idea of breast milk on tap. So, have no fear, Chunky Monkey will stay breast milk free (wow, I never thought I would say that)... cause honestly, who wants to read on the ingredient label: Sugar, egg yolks, creme, and Helen Smith from Omaha, Nebraska. That just doesn't sound tasty.
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I have to admit something here though, what is PETA thinking! Seriously! I mean, don't get me wrong... I think it is great to keep animals safe, but honestly PETA... don't you think you have gone too far, especially saying that, "milking cows is cruel"? I wonder how many of them have seen how irritated/painful a cow gets when it hasn't gotten milked. I don't know about you all, but I breast fed and I know how I felt when I didn't nurse.... it was not pleasant and stained a lot of bras.

This whole thing just makes me wonder how far some people go or loose their way. I am all for people making sure animals a treated right. I am an animal lover and don't understand how some people could purposely hurt such sweet things, but this thing is a joke. If PETA doesn't wants us to eat cows and doesn't want us to drink from cows, then what do they want us to do with them? If they don't have a purpose, why would we need so many? Honestly... if cows don't have a need, they would loose their numbers and could really go extinct and that would not cause a problem, cause seriously, they aren't really much good for anything else. In fact, the environmentalists could then argue that cows serve no purpose and say they give off too much methane with all their fartin' and need to go because they are destroying the o-zone layer (wait, do we still care about the o-zone layer?). Then next thing you know Hollywood stars are THEN going to be popping up everywhere saying "Screw the whales, save the cows!".

So, how far it too far? Has PETA crossed a very disgusting line, or opened a new door for animal safety, or proven that they won't be happy till we stop eating animals and embrace cannibalism? But all joking aside, I think it is good that PETA looks out for animals, tries to keep laws about meat production companies, and cruelty. I can understand why some people aren't comfortable with hunting, are vegetarians, or have 20 cats, but I don't get how someone could honestly suggest that I start feeding my family breast milk ice cream. I mean, I know that men are all fans of the boobies, but I don't think they had something like THAT in mind.

Tell me what you think. Do you like the idea of giving cows the pink slip and start pumping the mommies?

Pomme Bebe

Leave it to southern California to have a restaurant for babies.... yep... you heard me. A RESTAURANT FOR BABIES. Pomme BeBe apparently is for the real guilt stricken mothers who feel like caring, feeding, playing, protecting, and loving their babies is just NOT enough.

This all organic, completely "green" kitchen styled restaurant is for the chic-est of babies. When Gerber's mashed carrots are no longer up to par for your babies taste buds, moms can now take them into Pomme BeBe so they can have that mashed dribble washed away with their Chicken Pot Pie or Apricot-Kiwi-Pear puree. You know what? I made Kiwi-Pear-Apricot puree once... I took Kiwi, Pear, Apricot... and well... mixed them together :)

And if the stainless steel chairs, organic food, and the art deco setting is not enough to tempt you or make you gag, Pomme BeBe even has an award winning chef that has over 22 years of experience. I don't know about you, but I don't even think I have eaten from a chef with that much experience. Once I have tasted something with that kind of skills behind it, then I'll let Lucy have some. And is it just a tad sad that someone with culinary awards and mastered years of experience is now serving up the silver.... no PLATINUM-spooned children of Southern California? He should be at least working at Taco Bell... or should I say... Taco Belle. .

So, let me ask you all... honestly, would any of you go to Pomme BeBe?

Drug Testing

I usually participate in Thursday Thirteen, but since our power went out tonight and I was stuck reading by candle light... I figured I will just share something... funny. This video always cracks me up, thanks Michelle for showing it to me.

Should I Be Doing This?

"Excuse me! Do you mind?"

Baby Instructions

I have seen these floating around the internet for a while now and what can I say... they are freakin' hysterical. I laugh every time I see them. So hopefully these will provide a good laugh and not a scary realization that you might be doing something wrong. :)

The World's Largest

People love extremes. We, as humans, love to be curious, fascinated, shocked, and constantly wowed, that is why people slow down to stair at car accidents, that gossip magazines do so well, and why Madonna can't seem to just go away. So, to help keep your EXTREME THRILL LEVEL up, here is a list of.... The World's Largest!

Tallest Man
Robert Wadlow is the original "gentle giant". He was born as a normal-sized baby, but soon his perky pituitary gland triggered serious abnormal growth. By the age of 13 he was already 7'4 and he kept getting bigger.... he eventually topped out at 8 ft. and 11.1 inches. He unfortunately died at the young age of 22. His death in 1940 attracted more than 30,000 mourners and has a statue of him in his home town, which is actually smaller than his correct size. This photo is of him and his father.

Largest Insect
The South American Longhorn Beetle is recorded to be the largest insect out there, even though it isn't the longest or even the heaviest. All I know is that it can make me wet my pants 3.5 seconds faster than any other bug!

Largest Hand
China's Liu Hua has his hands full with one bodily distinction: the world's largest hand; which measured with an 11 inch thumb, 14 inch index finger, and he could flip the bird with his 6 inch middle finger. Fortunately, Liu Hua's hand has stopped growing, making it able for him to finally have plastic surgery, but will continue to need a few more surgeries to completely repair his hand. Until then, he will have to enjoy his crazy thumb wrestling skills as long as he can.

Largest Cookie
Immaculate Baking Company in Hendersonville, North Carolina wanted to host a fund raising event by baking the world's largest cookie. With the help of 30,000 eggs, 6,500 pounds of butter and 6,000 pounds of chocolate they were able to make their 37,000 pound cookie, which has a 102 foot diameter and if you look closely in the picture, you can see a man in a red shirt standing in the middle of it. Thankfully the fund raiser was successful but unfortunately the cookie was over shadowed with rumors of the world's largest cookie monster.

Largest Baby
Ladies be prepared, cause this story is going to make you go "OUCH"! So keep your legs crossed before you continue.....

Tatyana Barabanova of Siberia gave birth to her 12th child, Nadia, who weighed in at a whopping 17.1 pounds! This tot-zilla's size came as a complete shock to her mom, because Mrs. Barabanova states that none of her children have weighed more than around 8 pounds. So HALLELUJAH for C-sections, cause that is the only way the baby was going to make it out.

Largest Spider
This is the Goliath Birdeater which has a foot long leg span! This tarantula is native in South America and feasts on mice and lizards mostly. Luckily for us, they are NOT poisonous, but they still give me a big scoop of the heebbie-geebies. The female Birdeaters have an average life span of 15 to 25 years, but the males die soon after maturity having a lifespan of 3 to 6 years. You can actually see a life-size of the Goliath here. I don't even want to know the crunching sound this guy will make.

Largest Feet
At 7ft 6 ins, Matthew McGrory was not only the world's tallest actor, he also had the world's largest feet. McGrory had size 29½ shoes (European size 63). Matthew played in movies like Bubble Boy, Men in Black II, and in Big Fish. Unfortunately, Matthew passed away in August of 2005 to natural causes.

Largest Flower
The Rafflesia is the world's largest, heaviest, rarest and the one of the most stinkiest flowers in the world!!! It grows to be about 3.5 feet wide and weighs around 20 pounds. The Rafflesia is a parasitic plant without any leaves, stems or roots. Its only food source is it's nutrient-absorbing threads that absorb nutrients from the host on which it lives. Basically, the worlds biggest moocher.

Largest Dog
Zorba a Old English Mastiff weights in at 393 pounds. Not only does he weight 343 lbs but was also 8 feet 3 inches long from nose to tail! Potty training must have been a b!*$%.

Largest Restroom
Yes, you read right... the world's largest restroom! The congratulations go to the city Chong Qing in China and oddly enough, is made from all waste.... okay... well not THAT kind of waste, but recycled waste. It can support as many as 1,000 people using the restroom at the same time while also offering radio and TV to entertain its users. Holy crap.... literally.

Largest Bird
This award goes to the Argentavis with an amazing 25 ft wingspan. A single feather from such a bird is estimated to have been 1.5 meters long (60 inches) and 20 centimeters wide (8 inches). I just hope that it never lefts its "mark" over someone's poor car.